Paul quit his job a
few weeks ago. It was a scary life event, I have to admit. In the nearly 23
years we’ve been together, he’s had nary a day of unemployment. He committed to
being our breadwinner all those years ago and has worked very hard for us over
the years. He’s worked in a factory where he was exposed to lead on a daily
basis and got a monetary bonus if his blood tested in the “safe” level. (“Here
you go sir. You get a bonus for not poisoning yourself stupid this week. Have a
nice day.”) He’s worked in an auto garage where temps would hit upwards of 115°
in the summer and well below freezing in the winter. He’s mowed many a lawn.
And he’s most recently been in a casino where he was miserable. He’s always
worked hard for us, even when it wasn’t fun or remotely enjoyable.
So when he called me one day on his lunch break and said, “I
think I’m going to quit my job,” I know it took a few minutes for my brain to
register what he had said. I said, “Oooooookay….” and even though I was doing a
mental freakout like one of those cartoons from that new Disney movie, I added,
“I support you.” He didn’t quit that day and I was secretly thankful. And he
didn’t quit the next day or even the next week. And I continued being thankful
all while I stockpiled groceries and laundry detergent – just in case.
Then the day came when he called me once again on his lunch
hour and said, “When I leave today, I’m not coming back,” and I found myself
once again saying, “Okay, “ and I took a deep breath and added “and ….. I
support you,” all while my little cartoon Panic guy was doing this crazy
parcour ninja routine all over my brain in full-on meltdown mode.
I want to be a good wife and a good mom and I would do
anything in the world for this crazy clan I call my own. And sometimes being
the good wife or mom means just saying, “I love you. I support you. I don’t
necessarily understand you, and I’m more than a little freaked out, but I
support you.” And then you pray. A lot. “The effectual fervent prayer of a
righteous man availeth much” (James 5:16 KJV). I’m not saying I’m overly
righteous, but lately my prayers have been pretty fervent in hopes of availing.
He was only unemployed two weeks before he found a new job
that so far he really likes. It’s not day shift, but that’s okay. It’s hard
work, but he’s no stranger to it and he’s willing to do it. His first night, he
called me on his dinner break to tell me “They’re doing everything they can to
make this old fat man sweat!” but he said it feels good to DO something, not
sit behind a desk. It was a significant pay cut to start and we have some
budget adjusting to do for the next few months, but we can do it. I am a coupon
clippin’ fool and my sister guides me in the ancient Way of the Ad-Matches. My
mother has sworn that we will not starve and asks me about every other day if I
need butter or coffee. (The woman knows what is really important.) My mother-in
–law has said she’ll help with bills if we need it. We have a great support
system and pretty amazing kids who know that while things might be tight around
here for awhile, we’ll be taken care of and that their daddy is a diligent
provider for us. Plus, right now they’re digging the fact that we eat cereal or
popcorn for dinner several nights a week and we can watch “Doctor Who” and
“Downton Abbey” rather than “Cops” until bedtime.
Sometimes change is scary, but I do love a good adventure
sometimes. Not too often, but sometimes.
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