This morning I had Bug, Sam and my nephew, G, in the van, heading home from dropping the big girls off at summer *scrapbooking/chastity training.
As we were driving we met a car where the driver was obviously texting. I said that statement aloud and added, "Or else he was just really studying his crotch." As is pretty typical with 10 to 13 year old, the word "crotch" and the thought of someone studying one sent the three of them into ridiculous laughter.
As the giggling stopped, Bug, in a teeny tiny voice, said, "Well, hello there, little fella," sending everyone into fits of laughter again. G countered with, "No, no, it's 'Hey, howya doin' there, big guy?'" in a giant, deep voice. Again, laughter.
The following are other one-liners that ensued, most of them nearly causing me to get pulled over for reckless driving:
"How YOU doin'" a la Joey from "Friends"
"Haven't seen you up and around lately."
"Nice hat you're wearing."
"Nice mullet."
"Hey, did you get a haircut?"
"I didn't know you were Jewish!"
"Nice beard, dude."
"Uhm....did you know you're a penis?"
Yeah. It was quite a ride home.
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*Scrapbooking/Chastity Training: The county puts on WISE UP to teach 6th graders how to make smart choices regarding sex and relationships. Our county has a really great gal that has taken it further and really invested in the girls. She stays with them past 6th grade and does a book club with them during the school year and scrapbooking in the summer. Paul and I jokingly call it "Chastity Training". Today after scrapbooking they are actually going to watch MTV's "16 and Pregnant" then meet the couple from Miami that was on the show this past season. I hope it serves as cautionary. Not glamorous. I expect them to come home depressed.
I was born a semi-diva. I married a redneck. Through the magic of osmosis or just because of a serious lack of sophistication over the years I have found a balance of the two that make me who I am today. And then I write about it all, much to the chagrin of my mother.
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