If Only Home Improvement Stores Sold Xanax

It all started last Sunday. A mere week ago I had a clean house and some sanity. Now I am living in a pit and I'm battier than a belfry.

After the invitation and final prayer last Sunday Mom asked if the kids and I would go with Pops and her to Grove to eat at Braum's and then accompany them to Lowe's. They are remodeling a house so I figured she wanted some input on cabinets or fixtures or I dunno, a paper towel holder or something. When we got to the parking lot she said, "I am remodeling your bathroom for you."

And because I didn't know what else to do, I busted into tears.

She said she wanted to do something nice for her girls and was able to do it, so Tater's getting a new kitchen overhaul and I got a new bathroom.

I've mentioned before that our house is 33 years old. 33 years old looks good on my little sister, however on a house...well, things start to surreptitiously fall apart. Sometimes you don't even realize they've fallen apart behind the walls, in the attic or under your very feet -- until you start doing one simple project.

Last Sunday we picked out a new walk-in shower stall to replace the bathtub, a new shower head, trim, a vent that actually works and a new overhead light fixture.

Over the course of a week she's also purchased caulk, nails and lots and lots of plumbing supplies. If she could've found Xanax for me it would've been helpful.

The project began, Pops and Paul dug in and .... One thing led to another and sheetrock had to be removed, the concrete floor had to be jackhammered away - twice! - and then one morning we woke up to carpet that said SPLOOSH and SQUISH when you stepped on it. That splooshy carpet led to a different wall being torn out. Paul has called the trim everything but trim and I'm telling you, the air in the bathroom was blue tonight from his name-calling. Heck, even I've uttered a few long-forsaken phrases this week. Splooshy carpet will bring out nasty old habits.

We are exhausted. We are cranky. We are discombobulated. We are upheaved.

But oh, our bathroom is gorgeous. We went from blue walls, white wainscoting and a bathtub to walls, trim and waincoting the color of a hot fudge sundae and the most gigantic shower I've ever had the pleasure of bathing in. When Tater saw it she said, "Oh my word. You could just take the kids in here and camp out for a few days! It's like the ultimate stay-cation spot!" I have a BIG shower.

And I have the best momma ever.

I will post pictures of the whole debacle tomorrow, but tonight I'm emotionally exhausted on top of physically worn out. I have the day off tomorrow and plan to finish painting the bathrom vanity and then put back all the stuff that used to be in a cabinet, but will now have a new home on the shelves my husband installed for me last night. (I haven't had a day in this house by myself in MONTHS. I am nearly giddy the thought.) While the paint dries, however, I will make sure to post pictures of wet, moldy insulation, rotten sheetrock, a cracked bathtub, wet carpet and who knows what else I'll find on that SD card.

I know you'll hardly sleep tonight, the anticipation will be so great.