My youngest daughter, the not-quite-seven-year-old, just came up here into the dining room with a ponytail in her hair. A very good ponytail. When did she learn to DO THAT?
I took Abby to the doctor last week for her 12-year-old checkup.
Before I go any further, let me just announce that I am 5'2" and have been since I was 13 years old. (Apparently I can only grow out, not up.)
Before the PA ever came in, the nurse took Ab out to weigh and measure her. When they were done she walked her into the exam room where I was waiting and announced that she's now 5'3" and 98 lbs. I looked at my beaming tween and said, "You suck." The nurse honestly didn't know whether to laugh or call DHS.
The Garage Sale from Hades was held last Saturday. Tater and I worked for TWO SOLID WEEKS on that thing, keeping our kids up way later than they should on school nights, foregoing the eating of anything remotely healthy for meals and successfully ridding both of our houses of needless, useless CRAP.
I made $130.
Before the sale ended I had bought the whole crew lunch which was $30. (Balance $100)
When the sale was over I paid each of my kids $10 for helping. (Balance $70)
After we cleaned up I went to Walmart and spent $74. (Balance $-4)
I lost money on a freakin' garage sale.
I will never have another garage sale again for the rest of my life as long as I live.
Amen.
Paul got a promotion a few weeks ago. Yes, yes, I know I'm a little late telling y'all, but our lives have been absolutely turned upside down for over two weeks now and I just haven't had the time or energy to do much of anything other than cry, moan, whine and wallow. You'd think after such wonderful news as a promotion, I'd be a little happier, but I've come to the conclusion that I'm pretty much just a crotchety little old lady inside a 35 year old body.
He trained for 10 days on evening shift without a day off. He asked me not to blog about the fact that he wasn't home at night because he didn't want Fitty coming along and hatcheting his family to bits, so I suffered in silence without the help of the innernets. Okay, actually that was the time frame I was knee-deep in garage sale crap, so I didn't have time to post really.
Anyway, Paul moved from Assistant Security Supervisor to GSR (Guest Services Representative) Supervisor. If you're familiar with casinos, GSR is their fancy way of saying "Slot Tech." He's Supervisor over the people that work on machines, help guests with problems or issues, keeps track of what goes on on the floor and of course, does shift paperwork.
Get this: He wears a tie to work every day. When he was in Security he wore one two days a week while the regular supervisor was off, but now he wears one daily. He now owns more ties than I own Tupperware, including one with an obnoxious pink flamingo on it and of course, a Mossy Oak camouflage.
Last night I was telling my aunt that now that Paul's all dressed up to go to work he all but has to peel me off him in the mornings to head out the door. She laughed and said, "All because of a tie?" I nodded and said, "Oh my gosh, yes! I had no idea a tie could make such a difference!" She looked over at my Uncle Tom sitting in his recliner in a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt and said, "I'm buying him a tie tomorrow."
I was born a semi-diva. I married a redneck. Through the magic of osmosis or just because of a serious lack of sophistication over the years I have found a balance of the two that make me who I am today. And then I write about it all, much to the chagrin of my mother.
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3 comments:
Bummer about the yard sale. We did our last one for a LONG time (maybe never ever) this summer. It's so much easier just to give it away!
Congrats to Paul on his promotion!
I was 5'8" when I was 12 - and I am now, too. Of course, I also had ginormous feet (10 then, 11W now) and huge boobies. Yes, I was a freak at the other end of the spectrum!
Congrats on the greatness - we knew it all along!
Girl I gave up on yard sales years ago. I'll either give it away or toss it.
Congrats to Paul! That is wonderful news.
Just wait another couple of years. My sweet Hara is 14 years old now. I am 5'2" and have been FOREVER! Ms. Hara is now 5'7" and she just seems to keep growing!! It's a good thing she is a good kid because I think she might be able to take me if she wanted to. Eeck!!
Did I know tell ya!!?? I only made 50 cents. I hauled it all to Goodwill!! And I felt way better.
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