Say what?

I apologize for the lack of posting. I didn't realize it had been so long until after I sent a tweet telling of my ironing euphoria today I got a text from Mrs. Coach today telling me to "quit ironing.....starting blogging." Then I said I was going to post after I finished my ironing. But then I watched my soap I kind of uhm....fell asleep. Hey, it was my only day with no one in the house and it was quiet.....so very, very quiet....

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Last night was Open House at the kids' school. We stopped at Kady's room first to meet "Mrs. Glass Cow" who is actually Mrs. Glass-go, but try telling that to a phoentic 6 year old. She read it Glass-gow and it went from there.

Kady, who had been talking 400 miles a minute prior to entering the classroom, was suddenly struck mute the minute she saw the room. She couldn't bring herself to introduce herself to one new friend like the scavenger hunt said, so she just stood there while I made her mouth move and said, "Hi, my name's Kady and I feel awful silly with my mom doing this to my face." It made the kid she was introducing to laugh, but embarrassed her all to heck.

Next stop was Sam's room where we met Ms. Spencer. Abby had Mr. Dude in 4th grade so I have little experience with Ms. Spencer, but she seems great and Sam adores her already. She's heavy on science and that is right up his alley since he wants to be an astronaut (today, anyway).

After that we went to the MIDDLE SCHOOL to put Ab's locker shelf, mirror, numerous pictures of the dog, cats and siblings in her locker. Then we went to her classrooms. Her English/Reading teacher is one of the church ladies that does concessions for the auction company Mom works for, so we already knew her. Next was the science teacher who scored major points with Paul when we noticed the deer head mounted on the wall. The men stood and talked hunting for awhile and Paul walked out with a new guy crush, I think. Then it was on to social studies and it was there that I left with a girl crush because I REALLY like that woman. Finally it was math. Is it wrong that I almost had a panic attack upon entering the math room and I don't even go to school anymore? I guess math anxiety never goes away.

Abby chewed off all of her fingernails as we made the tour and looked so dang scared that I was tempted to just declare that all of my children were going to be homeschooled from 6th grade on.

Paul floated out of the school all but declaring his love for that science teacher.

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This morning we managed to get up, around, fed, primped, photographed and out the door by 7:10. The bus finally rolled up at 7:35 and I sent my babies on their way while I went back inside to send an email and slip on my shoes. I went to the school to take pictures of Kady and Sam and found Kady still in the cafeteria talking up a storm to a girl that she didn't know. I snapped a picture of her just as the first bell rang, gave her a quick hug and hurried over to the other building to snap a picture of Sam, who was sitting at a table with all girls. He was in heaven. That boy of mine is quite a playah. I wanted so badly to go across the street to the MIDDLE SCHOOL (yes, I will probably always refer to it in all caps), but I resisted that urge and walked to my van fighting tears.

Back here at home I replied to the email sent earlier, got my purse and headed to town to mail our audition tape to the production company, came back home and turned on the TV to Food Network, started some laundry and then started ironing. I now have the first seven days of school's outfits ironed and hanging in my closet. With any luck we'll be raptured before that second week.

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As we were visiting first grade last night we saw Mrs. Weece across the hall. She asked if I was ready for Kindergarten and I said, "Yeah, I think so!" She then asked if I knew how many kids I was going to have. I said, "Yeah, Courtney said about 19 or 20." She pressed her lips together and did a polite "mmhmm" and I knew that was not a good sign. I said, "Okay, what do you know that I don't?" She replied, "I'm not at liberty to say...."

I could not wait to get in the van to call Courtney. I asked her how many kids I was supposed to have and that I knew something was up and she said, "Oh. Okay. Uhm. You still love me, right?"

There are 27 children in my classroom.

The other Kindergarten teacher has 28.

Thankfully, the school knows that this is not a good thing and is in the process of setting up another classroom and hiring another teacher, but the earliest that could happen would be Monday. These first two days are going to be nothing more than crowd control. Courtney has no expectations for me and for that I am so very thankful.

I went to Open House tonight and met 18 of the kids. I'm nervous, but the absolute, sheer, all-consuming panic is gone now. I think the exhaustion is masking the anxiety now. I have oodles of people praying for me tomorrow and if you'd like to join in the party, feel free. I can use all the help I can get.

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I have found that over the course of my parenting career I have said things I never thought I would say. Things like, "Don't paint the cat" and "Your sister is NOT a trampoline!" and various other odd things.

But tonight I asked the question, "Honey, why do you have Dove chocolate in your underwear?"

This question came after Kady came flying into the church kitchen with a look of horror/ confusion/panic/terror and sheet unadulterated FREAKOUT on her face. She threw her arms around me and said, "MOMMA, TAKE ME HOME NOW!!" I said, "Kady, honey, what's wrong?" expecting a scraped knee or some other injury. I never expected my youngest child to pull the waistband of her skirt out and show me a big smeary heap of chocolate in her underpants.

My initial thought was, "Ohmygosh, diarrhea" and the thought following that was, "If it's all the way up front, how bad does the back look?" But she allayed my poopy fears when she bawled, "It's Dove chocwet! Pops gave me a Dove chocwet and I didn't have any pockets!"

Ah. Motherhood.