At the risk of running off the last two readers who haven't tired of reading about my sick self, I'll give you (two) the latest before I go back to doing the only things I can do these days: play solitaire and watch horrible daytime TV.
Yesterday morning I took a hit off the albuterol inhaler I was prescribed and while altogether not impressed with that event I felt like maybe it opened things up a little bit. At 3:30 I took another hit and within about 45 minutes my voice was back! I was totally loving my inhaler and was prepared to make it into a necklace so I could wear it next to my heart so it could feel my love better.
Then something bad happened - it felt like someone had poured gasoline down my throat, much like back at Christmas when I had strep throat. Oh the pain that came so closely on the heels of voice-full bliss! And then my throat swelled up, my voice left and breathing became so much not fun anymore.
Vicodin had no effect on the pain, Benadryl at least kept me from dying a horrible suffocating death and I spent the night sitting in my bed watching the clock so I could spray my throat with Chloraseptic spray every two hours like it says on the bottle. There was no sleep, only coughing, wheezing and pain. If I had insurance I would SO be in the hospital right now because I'd have driven myself last night. I was feeling THAT bad.
Mom gave me the super-secret cell phone number for Coumadin Man, Everyone's Favorite Pharmacist, who told me to keep taking Benadryl and get back to the clinic in the morning and beg for steroids. In the meantime I can't eat, drinking is questionable, but ice feels SO good on my throat, so I sent a text message to Paul telling him to bring me home a huge bag of ice tonight. I am so shaky and weak I'm scared to take a shower while I'm here alone because I'd hate for my kids to come in from school and find their mother knocked out and naked in the shower, so I'm sitting here in my bed, stinky and watching General Hospital. I've never watched General Hospital, but my old stand-by for sick days, The Food Network, just angers me today.
Tater just called - her tots just tested positive for THE FLU.
I hate everything right now. Except ice. And my mom.
I was born a semi-diva. I married a redneck. Through the magic of osmosis or just because of a serious lack of sophistication over the years I have found a balance of the two that make me who I am today. And then I write about it all, much to the chagrin of my mother.
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11 comments:
Feel better soon.. We've got the creeping crud over here to but its mainly chest colds, sinus and ears. As if Nix needs anymore ear infections!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you guys all get better soon! What is the nasty flu going around? Is it just the upper resp. stuff or sick stomach stuff?
Found your page thru ... uh, hmm... dare I admit... Pretty in Pink. With my boys at a b-ball game, I guess I'm just stumbling thru the blogosphere in search of something interesting. Which led me to you. So sorry for your sickness but 'tales from the crypt' and the
'half-dead coughing corpse thing'
bwwaaa haaaa haaaa. Funny stuff girl!
When you feel better, stop by and say hellooooo. :)
I'm so very sorry for you. Yuck. So far I've been VERY lucky and avoided the plaque but it may come soon as the future son-in-law came into the office today (he works for us) and said he was going home as he thinks he has the FLU! "OUT, OUT, OUT", I said to him, "Stay home till you are well!"
If I was that sick, I'd be more worried that I'd cut my head off (like a fox with his leg caught in a trap) than falling naked in the shower. But I wouldn't be happy about that, either. Surely, you are near the conclusion of this horrible sickness. I certainly hope so. How is Paul avoiding getting sick? You know, it will be almost as bad when he gets it...
IHS......a mecca for disgruntled, over-worked, underpaid medical staff from all of the country. Bless them, they do the best they can. I find bribing my way in with cheese effective (I AM JUST KIDDING I WOULD NEVER TRADE, BARTER OR SELL A COMMODITY PRODUCT IT SAYS NOT TO ON THE BOX)
Sorry you're still sick and hope you're on the way to being better--you and everyone at home.
You are not alone in sickness, and by you sharing your hysterical trips to the Indian Clinic and being sick have got me laughing so hard the coughing and peeing commenced... THANKS!
Was going to tell ya glad I am not the only person who got their valentines/birthday gift in a walmart bag shoved at them either:)
Oh MY!!!!!!!!!! Bless your heart, I truly hope you feel back to normal soon! Curious about The Food Network and it pissing you off? =-)
The Food Network always pisses me off lately since I'm on a diet AND I can always cook better than Sandra Lee!!!!
Get well soon, dear Diva!!
Holy jeez - hope you feel better soon. That sounds just awful :(
Oh man it sucks to be sick! Here's to you feeling better and EVERYONE in your house being well at the same time. Margaret
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