Why being a mom is so durn cool

Yesterday was my first Federal Holiday as a government employee. It would've been awesome had I not spent the entire day at my desk, which is something I'd have done if I was at work anyway.

I got up with Paul at 6:30 and when the kids hadn't gotten up by the time he left a little before 7, I said screw this and laid down on the couch. I faintly remember one of the kids asking if they could have donuts and meth for breakfast and I think I said yes. Or I mumbled something that they construed as yes and went for it. Nothing says breakfast like donuts and illegal street drugs. I woke up at 10:15. It's a good thing my kids are just addicted to fried pastry and drugs and are not juvenile delinquents. They know what they can and can't do and they know those rules still apply when Momma is comatose.

By 10:30 I had peed and had eaten my own donut (minus the meth, the kids had used it all apparently) and threw in Laundry Load #1. Then I sat my pajama-clad ass in my computer chair so I could tackle the ginormous task of re-writing four chapters worth of notes from my Macro class. Now, normally such a task could be completed in a few hours, but considering I had three kids in the house and a washing machine with a partially clogged drain hose, the task took all day. All freakin' day.

I'd just get settled into a good pace of tranposing my chicken scratch that comes from trying to write every single word the instructor says and I'd hear the washer start to drain, so then I'd have to run (yes I said run) out of my office, through the living room dodging my son's sleeping bag which puts Linus's blanket to shame and hurdling all 8 throw pillows from the couch that Kady had set up as an obstacle course, turn the corner into the kitchen, slip in some spilled Kool-ade then burst into the utility room right about the time the water was spilling over the drain pipe. After I'd turn off the water and let the thing drain, I could turn it back on and go back through the kitchen to mop up the spilled Kool-ade, yell at Kady to pick up those friggin' pillows, kick Sam's sleeping bag out of the way and ask him WHY he feels compelled to carry that thing up front on a daily basis, make it back to my office to start the whole thing over again.

Abby filled up the stock tank pool early in the morning, so the kids swam twice yesterday. Paul positioned the tank pool so that I can see it from my desk, thus eliminating my need to ever see the sun on the weekends. I think they fixed their own lunch yesterday. I hope the nominating committee for Mother of the Year is reading this post.

The kids each took turns on the desktop, playing at funbrain.com and Barbie.com and any other annoying .com that involves loud sounds, dialogue and the need to ask me a gazillion questions in order to get to the next level. I thought having the two computers side-by-side was a good idea until I remembered I have children.

In a moment of utter Macroeconomic euphoria delirium, I totally agreed to letting Abby invite 12 little girls to her birthday slumber party which is about one month from now. I totally will be calling my Macro instructor during that particular night and will be holding the phone so he can hear the giggles and the High School Musical soundtrack and the squealing and then I will say, "THIS? THIS? You hear this? YOU caused this!" And then I will hang up and load up all 13 girls so we can toilet paper his house.

At one point during the day Kady came in and rested her elbows on my desk, put her little chin in her hands and breathed on me until I finally said, "WHAT?" She asked, "Whatcha doon? Are you studying Psycho-wo-gee?" I sighed and answered, "No, Economics." She sighed as well and said, "I hate Ego-mo-nomics." I put down my pencil and pulled her onto my lap. I kissed her little head that smelled faintly of sunscreen and summer and said, "Me, too, Sissy. Me, too." She put her hands on my face and said, "You Algebwa is stupid, but Ego-mo-nomics is stupider."

I sure love that kid.