I was rocking along good in Algebra until tonight. Now I am ready to take my laptop and throw it out the window. It's not the laptop's fault, but it makes more sense than throwing a bed or the dishwasher out the window. If I could throw the creator of Algebra out the window I would smile. And laugh maniacally.
I am four chapters behind in rewriting my notes in Macro. Probably doesn't matter, though, because I don't get it anyway.
I haven't even begun to read the 33 pages of Lit and ponder the 8-10 questions/comments about those 33 pages.
I finally fell asleep at 4am this morning only to hear the utterly annoying sound of the alarm clock at 7. I bet I peed 9 times during the night - not because I really had to pee, but because it sure as hell beat lying in the bed trying to decide if the reason I wasn't sleeping was because I was too cold or too hot. I also ate a Little Debbie brownie - not because I was remotely hungry, but because, like Mt. Everest, it was there. It also gave me heartburn.
We didn't go to church this morning. We should've. I've said some really bad words tonight.
Earlier today I scared the piss out of my two innocent daughters who were playing on the desktop next to me when I screamed, "NO NO NOOOOO!" and threw my pencil across the room, slammed my notebook into the wall and banged my head on the desk. It had nothing to do with them, but everything to do with slopes and points and motherfucking graphs.
My husband doesn't understand why I haven't shaved my legs or any other region that was previously, up until two weeks ago, shaved. I will probably kill him before I get my degree. "You see, detective, it's like this: He said something about 'cavewoman' and I snapped."
My kids don't understand why I freaked the hell out when they wiped PopTart crumbs onto the kitchen floor this morning. I'm not entirely sure why I freaked out either. Oh yeah, wait...I remember now. Because I just mopped it for the first time in God knows when on Friday. You know, Friday? The day I don't work on so that I'll have plenty of time to catch up on schoolwork, but instead felt compelled to mop that disgusting floor that each step caused you to either crunch or stick? Yeah, that Friday. So yeah, that's why I freaked out. How silly of me to forget.
I want to quit. Quit everything. Work. School. Shaving. Wait. I've already quit that one.
I'm going to bed. Probably to not sleep. Yay.
I hear that most college Freshmen gain the "Freshman 15" when they start school. I did that last semester, so this semester I've decided to gain an addiction. Alcohol's looking like the winner at this point. Drugs are too expensive and I have to save my money to buy a new printer because lightning killed my old one last weekend.
I bet you all will be so glad when I either get comfortably drunk each and every day or else find some antidepressants. I bet I'm annoying.
5 comments:
No, quitting is NOT an option! You'll be fine, it'll all come together when you least expect it and you'll have that Ah-hah moment. You can do it. :)
Oh dear. You are taking two really hard courses in the same semester. The family will have to adjust.
I am so sorry that you're having a hard time with that stuff. You are more courageous than most. I definitely wouldn't touch the stuff. Just keep in mind that it WILL, eventually, be over. I'll pray that day feels like it's getting here sooner rather than later.
I hear you.
Pysical Science is kicking my butt. Why the heck do I need this? Gotta go, Algebra test is waiting for me along with my gooberish instructor.
You will be fine. That's the mom in me talking. You will be fine, though. Really. You won't remember the hours of lost sleep, and you'll have your degree. Best of all, when your kid complains when THEY are in college, you can say, "I did it with 3 kids, a full-time job, a house to keep..." Yep. it drives them crazy. And, trust me in a few years, you'll WANT to be able to pay your kids back for the crazy they make you feel sometimes. I'm rambling...but really, it will be ok. Try yoga, it's cheaper than alcohol.
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