This morning Abby was desperately trying to convince me she needed to take a small backpack full of crap on her class field trip today and I was totally stopping her from doing that. Because, for one thing, I'm the mom and for another, this time I had a better reason than, "Because I said so."
When I was in junior high, we went on a band trip to a college campus to watch a concert of some kind. (You can tell I was obviously affected by the performance because I don't remember much from it. I think it was the Army band or something like that.) Back then, bus trips were something to be anticipated and were cause for extra deodorant, many, many generous sprays of Liz Claiborne or Colors and gum. Lots of gum. So before we left, I loaded up my kicky new black leather backpack purse with my headphones and Walkman, Bon Jovi, Duran Duran, Weird Al and Tori Amos cassettes and multiple, multiple mix tapes recorded with my jam box off of the radio. And a book or two. And gum. Lots of gum.
After the concert, we boarded the bus to find that our shit was gone. Gone. Purses, backpacks, pillows, leather jackets, and all those mix tapes. My generic Walkman from Gibson's, gone. My Weird Al tapes, gone. My leather backpack!! GONE!
So when Abby wanted to take her GameBoy, mp3 player and an Artemis Fowl book she borrowed from Mr. Dude, I vehemently said no. She was so not happy with me. I explained that losing four Weird Al tapes back in 1987 had had a profound, lasting impact on me and I was not going to let her fall victim to an unlocked school bus as well.
As Abby walked down the hall to put her crap back up - her expensive crap - Kady asked, "Mom, why can't Abby take her stuff?" and again I began to explain. I said, "Honey, Momma doesn't want Abby to lose her imporant stuff, okay?" She nodded that she understood, then asked, "Who's Weird Al?" I sighed and wondered how in the hell could I give an accurate and fitting description of one of the greatest music artists of all time. Then it hit me.
"The 'White and Nerdy' guy." She said, "Ah! He's cool." (I, a nerdy child of the 80's, wholeheartedly concur.) But then she kicked me in the gut when she asked, "What's a cassette?"
I was born a semi-diva. I married a redneck. Through the magic of osmosis or just because of a serious lack of sophistication over the years I have found a balance of the two that make me who I am today. And then I write about it all, much to the chagrin of my mother.
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4 comments:
That reminds me of this conversation:
Natalie: Mommy? What's this music you're listening to?
Me: It's Grease, it was Mommy's favorite record when she was your age.
Natalie: What's a record?
And I would have been devastated by a similar backpack theft in 1987.
Funny this should come up. I have been arguing with my #1 son over his Beta club trip to Six Flags next week. He wants to take his Nintendo DS, with who knows how many games, which cost $35 apiece. The sponsor told the kids they HAVE to leave their stuff on the bus, that they have to go through a metal detector, and they won't be allowed to take in GameBoys and their rich cousin, the DS. No way is he leaving that thing on the bus!
Oh, how I remember field trips! I'd totally clean out my purse and have lots of lip gloss and gum! I'd also take the biggest purse I could find, as if I were going to a buffet. (but I wouldn't line it with plastic) HEE HEE! Just kidding! I would put my most grown-up stuff in my purse, like a tampon. Tampons were so "grown-up" to me for some reason when I was a child. It made me feel the same way that the egg-shaped lids from pantyhose that I'd put under my shirt in my pre-boob days. Little did I know I'd have big tits one day!
Hey, other 80's kids! They now have these things like oh, my, gosh, like totally called locks on the bus doors. And like, if the uh teacher like does their job, they are supposed to like lock the bus and your crap stays on the bus. It's way cool......
Sorry, I had a flashback. But seriously, I think it's law now that a bus has to be locked if your not occupying it so people don't hide out on them or something.
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