Me: "...when the kids and I were discussing the Rapture the other night..."
Tater: "Woah. Wait a minute. You were discussing the Rapture with your children? My nieces and nephew? The Rapture??? My gosh, Kristin, what were you thinking?"
Me: "What? It's gonna happen and they might as well know about it. I mean, they're gonna be a part of it, I hope. What would it hurt for them to know what's going to go on during the Tribulation and stuff? What's wrong with discussing it with them?"
Tater: "Are you TRYING to screw them up?! Mom....help me here."
Mom: "Well, it's good to see that the Baptist in you hasn't worn off yet, Kristin. You still believe that we must scare everyone into Heaven."
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"Sam, you played a good game tonight, son. I'm really proud of you."
"Thanks, Mom."
"Seriously. Have I told you lately just how awesome I think you are?"
"Yeah....I sacrificed my body for the ball. I am awesome."
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Me: "Abby, QUIT THAT! For the love of Pete, stop it!"
Tater: "Harp, harp, harp.....quit harpin' at her."
Me: "Well, if she'd just pay attention...."
Tater: "She's gonna have issues because of you."
Me: "She already does. The other night she said she hated me."
Abby: "What do you mean the other night - I still do."
Me: "Okay, girls....when you use the paint pens, test them first on this scrap piece of paper..."
TotOne: (gasping , eyes wide) "Aunt Kiki! She just said something really mean to you! Aren't you going to do something?"
Me: "I am choosing to ignore her."
TotOne: "Man....when I said that to my mom once I got talked to for a lonnnng time."
I was born a semi-diva. I married a redneck. Through the magic of osmosis or just because of a serious lack of sophistication over the years I have found a balance of the two that make me who I am today. And then I write about it all, much to the chagrin of my mother.
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2 comments:
Wow!
I can't wait to have kids! My two and a half year old neice just learned "shut up" and "poo poo head" in the same week, and she knows how to put them together and really piss off her parents! I hope it takes her a long time to learn "I hate you!"
Yes, my 10yr old said he hated me because I said he couldn;t do something. Then ten minutes later he kissed me goodnight and said I love you..and I said, "Oh well, I guess I am not the mother from Hell then am I son?" He giggled.
Ignoring is the way to go, sometimes.
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