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The week in review:


"Teddy Bear Tea a Success!" - Six Girl Scouts and one "mascot" enjoyed decorating their own teddy bear cakes at their first meeting last week. One bystander had this to say - "There was icing EVerywhere!" Their next meeting will involve ghosts made out of liquid starch and muslin. Emergency services will be on stand-by.

"Gymnastics Coach Makes Girls Giggle and Boy Act Like a Total Dork" - The Saturday morning Beginning Tumbling class had a substitute male coach this last week. It was decided among the parents that adding cute adult male testosterone to the mix made the girls giggly, goofy and just plain ridiculous. It also made the one young male act like a total goof-ball.

"Sisters Decide That Professional Photographs of Their Children is a Journey Straight to Hell" - JCPenney Portrait Studio was visited by five adorable cousins on Saturday afternoon. The two sisters who gave birth to the children were ill-prepared for said photo session and had to purchase clothing for all five kids shortly before the shoot was to begin. "It was pretty touch-and-go for a little bit," said one sister. The other sister asked, "WHERE IS THE LIQUOR?" Both women also agreed that from here on out, pictures snapped with a disposable 35mm will have to suffice for all future photographic memories of the children.

"Preschoolers Vomits in AstroVan in Silver Dollar City Parking Lot" - What does one dozen donut holes and nearly an entire bag of gummi bears get a person? Well, for one surprised mother and grandmother on Sunday morning, it got them extra experience in van upholstery cleaning. "I puked in da van!" said the 4-year-old shortly after the incident occured.

"10 Year Old Celebrates Birthday in Branson" - It was a birthday sprinkled with pixie dust for Abby Diva on Sunday. After having Happy Birthday sung to her by a ragtime pianist and Riders in the Sky the tween was floating on Cloud 9. Roller coasters were also involved. The day was finished with dinner at Olive Garden in Branson where the service was so-so, but the pasta bowls were never ending. Her presents had a very TinkerBell-ish kind of theme and she squealed loudly more than once. As the caravan was preparing to leave, the birthday girl was presented with one dozen Krispy Kreme donuts, something she had specifically requested on the birthday list she had printed in triplicate and had strategically placed in her mother's purse and had posted on the refrigerator.

"Exhausted Work-At-Home Mom Wonders if She Has Mental Health Days Figured Into Her Work Schedule" - When asked for comment, the over-tired mother merely said, "Zzzzzzzzz."