Thirty Things

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was your first thought? "Good gosh, woman, that hair is scary!"

2. When is the next time you will have sex? *sigh* Probably tonight.

3. What's a word that rhymes with "DUCK"? Fark. (Trying to clean up the language around here just a little bit.)

4. Favorite planet? Well, it was Pluto until they turned it into a big hunk of rock instead of a planet.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile? My new phone that is missing a few vowels doesn't have a missed call list.

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone? The one that sounds like an old rotary phone. That's the one I hear when Mom calls.

7. What shirt are you wearing? My Falls Creek camp shirt from the summer of 2004. It has gnomes on it and is therefore one of my favorite shirts.

8. What were you doing 20 minutes ago? Covertly smoking a cigarette out behind the wood pile while the kids are napping.

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing? Not wearing any, although I should be.

10. Bright or Dark Room? Dark

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey? She's a hoot and never fails to make me laugh when I talk to her!

12. If you're in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on? The one furthest from the door.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping, which is usually pretty rare for me at Midnight.

14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say? It was from Cousin Stacy, offering me her laptop if I wanted to blog while I was in Florida.

15. How do you like your eggs? I can only eat eggs if I don't sit and think about what they are. Seriously. If I stop long enough to consider that I'm eating a chicken embryo I'll gag and have to throw them out. So I eat them scrambled very hard with lots of salt and cheese on them and I have to eat them while they're really hot out of the skillet.

16. What's a word/phrase that you say a lot? "No no!" The word "shit" comes in a very close second.

17.Who told you he/she loved you last? It was either Abby or Sam on their way out the door to school this morning.

18. Last furry thing you touched? Probably one of the many kittens that try to get in the door when it opens.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? I drank a beer night before last and have taken my daily aspirin.

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? None. I have a film camera, but don't use it. The kids, however, have about 3 disposable cameras that need to be developed.

21. Favorite age you have been so far? I would say 18 or 19. At 18 I was wild and carefree and slutty. For most of 19, I was, too, but settled down when I got married, a fact I'm sure my husband appreciated.

22. Your worst enemy? Airplane seatbelts.

23. What is your current desktop picture? The kids with Larry and Bob (Veggie Tales for those not familiar with the talking animated vegetable set) at Celebration City this last summer.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "Night, night, Bradley-bean."

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly which one would you pick? Oh SO totally a million bucks. I would tell Sears to kiss my ass when I sent them that final payment, then I'd immediately book us a trip to Disney World for two weeks.

26. Do you like someone? I like some people, some of the time. Not often, but sometimes. I like my kids on most days.

27. The last song you listened to? "London Bridge" by Fergie (Still blows my mind that she was sweet, adorable, innocent Stacy on Kids Incorporated. Yikes. That makes me worry about my daughters.)

28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, what would you do? Well, he's a baby, so I'd shield his pudgy body with my pudgy body and pray that my super-absorbent fat would stop the bullets.

29. If you could punch 1 person in the face who's in your life right now, who would it be? I am SO not saying on here, but first I should clarify that that person isn't really in my life, just kind of lurking around the edges, making an occasional scary appearance. But yeah, I'd really love the opportunity to give 'em a good punch.

30. What is the closest object to your left foot? My right one - they're crossed at the ankles.

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Thanks, Mrs. Coach, for this one!