Still waiting

For things to emerge from vaginas. Nothing yet. I'm being patient, Hamm. I really am.

This is where the keywords led this week:

redneck diva - I'm glad to know they're still lookin' for me. I mean, I guess I'm not the only rednecked diva out there, but as far as I know, I'm the only one with a blog. Someone correct me if I'm wrong.

vitamany - Is this a newer version of Veta Vita Vegamen? Hillbilly Mom, are you selling this in your general store? Should I buy some up in case it's a huge hit and there's a run on the market?

redneck sayings - "Git r done", "By cracky" and "Shinin' like a diamond in a goat's butt" - yep, we've got those here. We watched Cars this weekend and when Mater said, "I'm happier'n a tornader in a trailer park!" Mr. Diva found that rather amusing and chuckled over that for half an hour.

yellow jacket extermination nests - Good luck with that one, whoever did this search.

how to get rid of yellow jackets from roof - Not sure how to get them off the roof, but if you have them in your office closet, we're pros. Email me.

i touched my aunts boobs - No, that was not me. Tater touched our step-grandmother's waist-boobs.

yellowjacket extermination - RAID, a broom handle, expand-o-foam and lots of screaming and squealing from your wife oughta do it.

wax breakout upper lip - What gives? As I've said before - I'm not sure which is worse: the Tom Selleck 'stache or the 7th-grade acne-stache.

diaper pissed his pants - I'm hoping they were searching for help with their potty-training toddler. Anything beyond that and you're out of my realm of expertise.

100%2006 online dating site.gr - Not a clue. Not a freaking clue.

main line murder ardmore jeffrey erotic dancer summer - Busy boy, that Jeffrey.

sexy redneck sayings - Not "git r done" but "git me done".

dead mouse smell in closet - Get the RAID. And a broom handle. And call your wife.

do your boobs hang low can you swing - I actually swung on a swingset awhile back. And I gotta say, the picture Mom took of me doing it was really not so flattering. It wasn't the goofy half-nauseated grin on my face, but the fact that my ass kind of was squshing out of the seat. Now, what my boobs have to do with it, I have no idea.

sicker doodle cookie recipes - One step more rancid that snickerdoodles.

oklahoma dirt dyed shirt - They actually make these. And I think they sell for $10 or so. I, however, can have my kids make you one a lot cheaper. Just bring your own shirt and a handful of chocolate. We'll fix ya up.

how fat can a roller coast ride be - Not sure. But if you want to measure my ass, that'll give you an idea of how fat you have to be to NOT ride a roller coaster.

Until next week, when hopefully something emerges from someone's vagina and we can put an end to this waiting.