Today Little Nicky and Princess have tried every possible way they can to escape from my house. I think they are Mission: Impossible spies in training on the baby level because they are diligent in their attempts. They can both work their little toes into the baby gate and are getting a few inches higher with every attempt. When they figure out how to get over the gate, I'll just put another gate up over that one. We'll see how high they can climb then. They both have been caught standing on the Lego table today, Little Nicky falling off and landing right on a pile of Legos. That's gonna leave a mark. Or two. Princess is learning the art of diversion by taking her diaper off and bringing it to me. It's usually when I'm standing there holding her wet diaper in my hand that Little Nicky is hooking himself up to the zip cord that will get him over the baby gate.
Baby Divinity has discovered that virtually any food on earth far beats a Gerber Third Foods Ham and Vegetable Dinner. And really, can you blame him?
Last night I tried to feed him that dratted dinner and he gagged and sputtered and coughed and then finally all that gave way to screaming at me in sheer disgust. Oh buddy, he was mad. So the dinner was abandoned and gave way to his old standby: fruit with cereal. He was still mad at me and wouldn't look me in the eye the rest of the meal. Later Tater decided that she was going to win his graces and started giving him pinches of bread. He opened his mouth and took about 4 bites when suddenly he decided that she looked enough like me that that right there was reason enough to scream at her, too. At that point all further feeding attempts were abandoned due to the screaming and the slobbery pieces of bread that were shooting from his maw like they were from a cannon.
Today, the other half of that dinner was sitting in the fridge just begging to be eaten. And he took the first two bites okay, but after that he gave me a dirty look that pretty much said, "You are an evil, evil witch and you just don't get it, do you?" I tried stuffing a bite in his mouth and then shoving his paci in, but all that did was make him giggle hysterically and before it was all over we were both covered in ham and vegetables, giggling hysterically and both in need of a shower. But he really hadn't eaten much of anything.
So I, remembering back to when my babies were babies, dumped a jar of papaya dessert into the bowl and he ate every bite.
Then I figured out later that the refusal to eat it before that was just another diversionary tactic and I found Little Nicky hanging by a bungee cord over the toybox delicately plucking toys from its depths and tossing them to Princess who would then hide them under the changing table.
Those three are good.
I was born a semi-diva. I married a redneck. Through the magic of osmosis or just because of a serious lack of sophistication over the years I have found a balance of the two that make me who I am today. And then I write about it all, much to the chagrin of my mother.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
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2 comments:
LOL - Oh my gosh too funny! Have you ever seen Baby Genius? I have to bring it to you. It's one of Nickys'favorite movies!!!! Maybe that would explain it? As for baby food - YUCK. Nick wouldn't eat that! :)
Jen, baby food is so disgusting! I think half the time when babies won't eat it is because they're offended we don't give them more credit than that. Poor things. Man, that Little Divinity, though can eat a fish stick like nobody's business! Maybe if I mush up a fish stick and put it in a jar.....ugh, on second thought....maybe not.
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