Two weeks ago . . .

Y'all go empty your bladders right now, grab a snack and a drink and settle in to read about the last two weeks in your Diva's life. I know, I know, it's a wonder y'all have survived this long. Rest easy my children, I'm still alive. Just busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest. Betcha didn't know there even were butt-kicking contests, did ya?

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Okay, so two weeks ago tomorrow Tater, Mom and I went to the beautiful Coleman Theatre in town to see the Riders in the Sky. You know, the cowboys with the colorful, shiny shirts that rival anything Porter Wagner wore. You don't remember them? Yeah, no one else did either. Oh, well. Of course I took pictures. (I may have been absent from my blog, but I've been taking pictures right and left with the intent of showing y'all.)


This is Ranger Doug.

Now do you remember them?


No?














How about now?

Well, if you don't remember them now then I can't help you.

The one on the left is "Too Slim" - he's the one wearing the "cac-tie". That cracked me up.

Woody Paul is the feller on the right.




Anyway, they put on a heck of a show and we really enjoyed it. Evidently the town of Miami loved them as well because the theatre was pretty close to bein' full and we sat about 5 rows from the back. Very entertaining. Mom bought the 25th anniversary CD and asked me to burn a copy for myself and Tater. So instead of burning it right away, I instead took it to my van and tortured my children with cowboy campfire songs for 3 days before they threatened a mutiny. Whippersnappers.

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The Saturday after that Sam tested for his yellow belt in karate. He's been whining a lot lately about wanting to quit. He's always fine when he gets there and enjoys it, but getting him out the door without much whining is a feat. Sensei said that the majority of people that get to yellow belt will stick with it. Yeah, well, you should've heard the war cry he emitted from the back of the van tonight when I told him that he wouldn't get to go this week due to his mother and her busy-ness and that butt-kicking contest and such. So much for that.




First guy on the left on the first row - that's my Sam.

Tall dude in black on the back row - that's Sensei. *sigh* He's so hot.








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That night Paul and I went to the casino. Big surprise. My mother in law was on vacation that week and watched our kids like 40 gazillion times. That was cool. Oh yeah, we didn't win anything.

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Last week started my first full week with all six kids. It's gone incredibly well and I love them all so much. The baby sleeps so much that I check on him about every 10 minutes to make sure he's okay. And smile, oh my gosh, that kid can't take half of his bottles for smiling all over the place. What a sweetie.

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Jennifer came out and watched all the rugrats Wednesday last week so that I could take Abby to the eye doctor. It'd been a year since her prescription had changed, so I was fully expecting it. Sure enough, she'd changed. Of course, for the worse. She's nearly as blind as her mother, God bless her. We picked up her new glasses yesterday and it was such a signifigant change that she instantly got a headache. I made her take them off and put them on this morning after her eyes had rested. She's great with 'em today and has read everything in sight because now she can actually see.

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Wednesday night Tammy (CBG's mom), Tater and I went to Joplin to get my tattoo fixed. We ate at Cheddar's. YUM. We decided that the next time we go we must bring Jennifer along. And a cheesecake.

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Last Friday was the kids' last day of school before Spring Break. I took this week off because originally we had intended to paint our living room. That was eventually nixed and we then said we'd finish the playhouse. It's Wednesday evening and no one has stepped foot in that playhouse. It's been a YEAR since construction began. Okay, 11 months, but still. Geesh. It's obviously a sore subject for me.

Saturday we went to Chandler's 4th birthday party. That night Mom watched the kids and we went out with the Taters to celebrate their 10th anniversary. Bet you'll never guess where we went.

We came home a lot earlier than the Taters did because we're old and poor.

And we also didn't have RLTKAOOTHS because . . . well, I fell asleep. And as Paul said, "I make it a point to quit trying when you start snoring." I really felt bad about that one. I was just really tired.

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Mom kept the kids all day Sunday and brought dinner out to the Farmette for all of us. We ate Democratic beans (They were left over from the Democratic Party's annual Bean Dinner - the beans themselves actually had no political affiliation. At least, I don't think they did. Although I did call Mom the morning after the dinner and when she answered the phone I said, "Hello, ma'am. I'm from Republicans Against Farting Democrats." She replied with, "Well, then you're going to have a problem. This town's full of 'em today.") and Paul and I listened to the others discuss politics. Now that Mom is working for the election board the family is a smidge more political. Paul and I sat at our end of the table and listened, rather lost. We just don't get into that. But it's fun to listen to everyone discuss until they get all riled up. Then we just sit back and laugh at them.

The weather was pretty stormy and got worse as the evening wore on. The counties around us were popping up Severe T'storm Warnings. Then we were under one. The counties around us started popping up Tornado Warnings. I told everyone that when we're at home and the county goes to warning we head for the neighbor's safe room. So the guys went out and opened up their cellar, we had the kids get their shoes one and we gathered up flashlights. Sure enough, we went into Tornado Warning and what did we all do but go stand out in the yard. I believe Jeff Foxworthy said that's a sign you might be a redneck. It was obvious that the part of the county the Farmette is in is on the edge and we watched the massive storm pass right by, but not without giving us one incredible light show. It was simply amazing.

Kady cried the entire time that she didn't want to "go to da cewwa!" After it was all over and she was playing on the back porch, she looked at the open cellar door and said, "What's that?" We told her it was the cellar and she said, "Oh. I wanna go in that!"

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Monday the kids and I got up and started cleaning house. Then we got out the boxes of summer clothes so I could see just how much my kids have grown. I like trying on the summer clothes better because they can usually wear shorts more than one year because well, they're short. Jeans, however, we get maybe half a school year out of those. So all in all we only came up with one trash bag to pass down to the Tater kids. About halfway through the trying on process I started feeling like my skin hurt. By the time we were done, I wanted to just die. I was running a fever. I put on sweats, curled up on the couch under three thick fleece blankets and slept the rest of the afternoon. I guess it was my sinuses. I ended up pouring enough ibuprofen into my body that my fever came down and I went to Ladies' Night. I am nothing if not dedicated to my addiction.

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Yesterday the Brownie Troop met up at the county courthouse and we toured the Court Clerk's office, the County Assessor's Office and the County Treasurer's office. The girls yawned a lot. God bless 'em, it was really hot in there yesterday and heck, even I didn't know what some of the people were talking about.




This was the girls getting to use the County Clerk's stamp. They thought that was mega cool.








But the highlight of the trip was visiting the County Election Board where, as luck would have it, Mom is now working. The Troop is taking a trip to Branson in May so we decided to let the girls vote on which show we see while we're there. We narrowed it down to two choices at our last meeting - Dixie Stampede and Comedy Pet Theatre. Tater and I lobbied pretty hard (which I did learn is actually kind of illegal in real elections) for the Stampede beforehand. The ladies in the office set up a voting booth for the girls and let them use actual ballots. Those girls thought they were all that.






Abby looking entirely too grownup for my taste.













And for those who were a little height-challenged, they were more than accomodating.




















After lunch in the back room of the Election Board we walked a few blocks downtown to the Coleman Theatre where the ever-wonderful Mr. Erwin gave the girls a tour. Not a ghost tour, but a regular one. Of course, he did throw in a few teasers about the theatre being haunted the girls thought that was cool.




Notice the flower in Tater's hair? Cute, huh?
















This is Abby and her friend, McKenzie, looking up at the chandelier. Or looking for ghosts.














All in all, it was a good, exhausting day.

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This morning the Diva children and I left the house at 9:30 and got back home around 5:30. Abby had a doctor's appointment at 9:50 because her Zantac has quit working. Diagnosis: She grew and her dosage was wrong. And also, she's just a nervous kid and hopefully she'll grow out of it. Stressful situations and spicy food nearly kill her. Poor kid.

After that Mom took us to the Chinese restaurant for lunch, where we saw Small Town Starlit. She's having a much more relaxing Spring Break than I am!! Lucky! After that we headed for Tulsa for a headgear check at the dentist. I also paid the man off and now I own Abby free and clear.

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Tomorrow I'm getting our taxes done.

Friday morning we leave for Branson.

Who said vacations are supposed to be relaxing??