Maaaaaaiiiiiiiil Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime!

You know, after 8 years of watching Blue's Clues it never fails to entertain me. I was more upset when Steve left than the kids were. Joe's okay, but he's no Steve.

Ahem.

That moment of parental insanity was brought to you by : Children. And the number 7 and the letter I. We will now return you to your regularly scheduled blogging.

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Abby missed two days of school this week. Sunday night Mom came over to watch the kids while Paul and I went to Grand Lake Casino to get a jumpstart on his birthday gambling. Mom called me around 8 to tell me that Abby was complaining of a backache and a headache. I told her how much Motrin to give her and Mom sent her on to bed. She woke up Monday morning running a fever, white as a sheet and still achey. That baby laid on the couch all day. That's just not like her. I mean, all day she just laid there. She wouldn't even read Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing. And she wouldn't play her GameBoy, which is a sure-fire indicator of a sick child, just ask Hillbilly Mom. I kept her home again yesterday even though she felt better and even read a little bit. Of course, now she has a sinus-y thing goin' on.

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I had her parent/teacher conference last night. I love her teacher! She's so real and personable and down to earth. She gave me some hints to help with the Social Studies, because from what she says, she all but feeds it to them. I said, "Well, the only thing I can figure is, she just doesn't like Social Studies." Her teacher replied, "Does anyone really like Social Studies?" She had a point. We also addressed the AR thing and she agreed that Abby needed to be challenging herself more. We're both going to stay on her about that. But the coolest part of the whole thing is that I get to bring cupcakes to the Valentine's Party! I love being the cupcake mom. The kids really love the cupcake mom. Okay, so they really only love the cupcakes, but still, it's nice to have 20 kids think you are the bomb when you walk in with all. those. cupcakes.

Yesterday was a really poopy day. Chan is having some issues about being here lately and that is frustrating. He cries every morning when he gets up, cries on the way here, cries when he gets here and cries after I peel him from his mother's clothes like a staticky sock right outta the dryer. His mom's upset, I'm upset and obviously he's upset. I figure it must be a four-year-old thing because Kady's going through some strange separation issues with me right now as well. His mom has explained to him that no matter how much he cries he still has to come and I've explained that to him as well, but it doesn't help. Maybe if I make him some cupcakes . . . Just a thought. So far the other children still adore me and that's the only thing that's keeping me from have a real complex over it. CLB attacks me when I sit down and gives me extra snotty lovin's all day long. CBG cries for me even when her momma's around. CBB will come up to me and give me hugs and loves all day long for no reason. So I really hope it's not me.

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My tat is itching now. There's a spot on it that is concerning me. Not concerning me like I think my arm's going to fall off or anything, but my bra strap keeps rubbing that one spot. There's no color there now. The instructions (Yes, tattoos come with instructions) say not to pick the scabs that form (Yes, I'm discussing scabs on my blog) and while I personally haven't picked at any scabs, my bra strap keeps rubbing the scab off. He's definitely going to have to recolor that spot. There are a couple of other spots that need touching up, too.

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Paul had like, the best lunch hour ever today. He and one of the support managers went to the Buffalo and he won $540. Then turned around and won another $120, but he ended up donating that back. I guess he figured they couldn't pay the electric bill if he'd kept that extra $120. Add that to the $500+ he won on his birthday and I'd say he's one lucky redneck these days. So I had him stop on the way home tonight and buy a PowerBall ticket. The way things are going, heck, it can't hurt, right?

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Dang....I just checked the PowerBall numbers. Neither of us got one single number. That was $2 we could've stuck in a slot machine!

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Tomorrow night is our Brownie Troop's Skating/Slumber party. We're rewarding them for such a phenomenal cookie sale this year. I am not a big huge fan of roller skating, but I have fun for awhile. At least until the muscles I haven't used in eons start realizing that they are being used and let me know that they aren't happy about it. Then I lose the skates and risk my toes going out on the floor in sock feet. Abby looks like Olive Oyl in skates and I gotta say, it's quite humorous. She's all legs, that kid. She definitely did not get that from her mother. Tater, however, is so stoked about the skating that I'm worried she'll have a seizure or something. I just hope she doesn't sustain an injury that causes her to shed any blood. I can just imagine how traumatic that would be for the girls - seeing one of their troop leaders bleeding out on the rink floor. That'd be memorable.

After the skating excursion we're taking the girls to Wal*Mart. They want to adopt the local animal shelter as a community service project, so we're going to turn them loose in the pet aisle. That should be fun. (Speaking of which, Shannon, I need to talk to you about that! I should've asked you while I was dropping my honeybuns all over Wal*Mart tonight, lol.) And then after all of the skating and the pet shopping we're going to bring them back here to the Diva Ranch to let them junk food until the wee hours of the morning. The good thing is that we can put them in the toyroom with a movie and Magnet Lady, Tater and I can watch something not animated and giggle and girl talk ourselves. I have a couple of kids Friday morning so I will have to catch a few zzzz's at some point, but the afternoon is entirely set aside for napping. I love Saturday afternoon naps. And Sunday afternoon naps. Oh heck, who am I kidding, I just love naps, no matter what day they're on.

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I got to see Irish Divinity's new baby today. Omg, that is one cute kid. He's got this hair that reminds me of me in the morning. It sticks up all over and dang if it's not adorable. I'm going to spend the next few days in anticipation of his arrival, which will hopefully be next week. Although, his momma's not been feeling on top of the world, so she might wait another week. My uterus might go into withdrawl. Dang, he's cute. CBB thought he was intriguing and spoke to him in some strange toddler talk, probably telling him that the left shoulder is the best shoulder to wipe snot on. CLB would not even come NEAR me while I was holding him. I mean, that kid took off like a rocket to the other side of the room and completely ignored the whole spectacle. CBG really handled it better than I ever imagined, but it was also only for a little while. We'll see what she does when she has to share her Kiki for 8 hours a day. Chan was so sweet, kind of hanging back, not sure what to think of the squirmy little guy in my arms. He was pretty excited that they share the same hairdo, though. Kady was nearly giddy before he got here, but then once he was here she was kind of aloof. Before they got here she kept asking me if he talked and jabbered like CLB and CBB and if he was trying to crawl like CBG and if he could eat enchiladas with her and Chan at lunchtime. She seemed disappointed that all he did was sleep, grunt and squirm.

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And now it's nearly 11pm and that means it's time to crawl into bed and begin my nightly 6 hour roll-around-flip-flop-and-just-generally-get-frustrated while I attempt to sleep. Sleep's been pretty scarce lately. Even Kady had trouble last night. She got in bed between Paul and I around 1:30 this morning and began talking. I mean, really talking. I told her if she was going to stay in my bed she was going to be quiet. "Okay, Momma. I will." Then silence. Stillness. I relaxed and started to drift off. Then, "Momma? Can we go jump on the trampoline? Just you and me?" HUH? I'm not sure she was ever awake. She was talking some off the wall stuff, lemme tell ya.

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Author's note: Keebler Fudge Shoppe Grasshopper cookies are pretty durn close to Girl Scout Thin Mints. Close enough that I'm not sure I can resist buying them when I go to Wal*Mart from now on.