Keywords

Oh wow . . . Hillbilly Mom, you were right to be disturbed. There are some seriously jacked up ways to get to my blog!

"I'm going to Miami, I'm going to the fair, to see a senorita, with flowers in her hair." - this was one that Hillbilly Mom mentioned she'd seen. My Brownies play this game, but they're always going to the country, not Miami. I couldn't find this keyword search, but it's obviously already been replaced with this one:

"photograph of fat redneck woman hanging poster for lost puppy with dog stuck in her butt" - Now, I realize that the word "redneck" gets me a lot of search engine traffic, but honestly.

"receipt for homemade jungle juice" - This one has steered someone in the wrong direction completely, because when I sell my homemade jungle juice I always, always, always give a receipt when the sale takes place. There should be no one coming around later to get a receipt - they got one when they left the back end of my van, where I sell my homemade jungle juice. And I certainly don't give out the recipe. They're looking for some other homemade jungle juice distributor.

"jake and heath kiss photo" - Mention Brokeback Mountain one time and you get searches looking for the two hottest sheep herders of all time kissing. I personally would like to see that photo myself, but it's not on my blog.

"baby kick grownups butts" - There are days when I feel like they do just that. But other days my motto of: "I'm bigger, I'm meaner, I'm stronger and I WILL win" usually holds true.

I'd share more, but 74% of my search engine hits come from searches for "redneck". These are just the rare few that make everyone go WTF????