"I really appreciate all you did around the house today. Thanks, honey."
"Eh, needed to be done."
"Well, when I appreciate something you do I just want you to know."
"Yeah. Well. I. Uh....I uh....appreciate you, too. I just wish you'd put out more."
"So.....you appreciate me putting out?"
"Well, yeah. But I appreciate other stuff, too."
" ... "
"Uhh....like doing my laundry....and you're real good with the kids and all."
"Well, I'm glad I'm appreciated. It'd be nice if you'd tell me once in awhile."
"I do tell you. When I start humping your leg when you get in bed? That's me appreciating you."
"I feel so loved."
"You should."
-------------------
"Next time you have a hard time getting in the mood I'm just gonna give your hair a little tug. I bet that'll wake you up."
"Next time you pull my hair during sex I'm going to twist your balls off. I mean, twist them off like twisting-the-lid-on-the-milk-jug twist them off. AND you'll actually hear an audible pop when they come off your body. So g'head and pull my hair, big boy."
"Well, maybe I can think of another way to get you in the mood...."
I was born a semi-diva. I married a redneck. Through the magic of osmosis or just because of a serious lack of sophistication over the years I have found a balance of the two that make me who I am today. And then I write about it all, much to the chagrin of my mother.
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We....the people
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4 comments:
That's where you screwed up a looooooong time ago. You should have NEVER let him keep his balls in the first place, duh, that's like number 2 in the Wives Hanbook.
Handbook.... doy, I'm an idiot.
LMAO...too funny! He catches on quick, don't he?
April, can I borrow your copy? Because I didn't get one. If I had known the balls were supposed to be taken off right from the start I bet I'd get to go out a lot more often, huh?
Mama K, sometimes. Other times, not so much.
Andi, yeah, he's a real Casanova, lemme tell ya.
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