Thursday, September 22, 2005

We've got a man down!

Imagine if you will, being out in your driveway on a hot first day of autumn. Are you imagining it? Good. Now picture yourself running around like a crazy woman because you are running late for an appointment and you have to load into your van two very wound-up preschoolers and a 30-pound infant. It's quite a scene, isn't it?

Just as you lean over to buckle the baby into his seat you hear a very loud POP and feel a stabbing pain in your side, right under your left breast. You feel like shouting "Take cover, kids!! We're under fire!" because you're pretty sure in that split second that you have been shot. The pain in your ribcage is worsening. Your breath is coming in ragged pants, sweat has broken out on your brow. You finish buckling the baby because if you have to drive yourself to the ER you want everyone to be safe. Then you step out of the van to assess the wound, expecting to find your shirt soaked in blood from the bullet wound.

Strangely there is no blood and as you stand up, the pain in your ribcage goes away. You reach a tentative hand up to feel the area under your left breast, wondering what is staunching the flow of blood. And then you realize







you have broken another underwire in your white bra.

5 comments:

Politically Homeless said...

I just hate it when that happens!

D said...

You should have taken a pic for HNT! *LOL*

Carmel said...

You make me laugh. I've so been there! And, I'm not usually laughing when that happens, but you put some humor into things...

Queen Of Cheese said...

OH MY GAWD! I hate that! When you buy your bra's in the dairy cow section of Victorias Secret, you despise that feeling because you know your soon gonna be out another $50.00

Redneck Diva said...

Brian-You and me both, buddy. You and me both.

Scrapper-The world is not ready for that! The top of my non-existent cleavage is as brazen as I've gotten with my chest for HNT.

Cissy-If I can't laugh about it, I'll just cry. Those bras are expensive!!

Mrs.Coach-Mine are $39.50, so I guess I'm getting a bargain! That's the first time I've heard of Lane Bryant being cheaper on something.

We....the people

Originally published in The Miami News-Record, July 2020 Everything is different now. I’m not just talking about masks and social distancing...