* I have boogers. Lots of boogers. Of my very own. Don't even need the kids to provide them for me today. Allergies suck.
* Chandler doesn't have boogers, but he has lots of snot. And I just can't convince him that using a kleenex is far better than wiping his nose on Kady's stuffed cat which he has done approximately 40 gazillion times today. It makes Kady just shriek. Poor guy. I've a notion to just clothespin a hankie to his nose or something. It'd save me from have to watch him lick his snot and save him from getting his ear drums ruptured every time Kady sees him desecrating ol' Chip.
* Kady has snot, too. Fortunately she has mastered the art of obsessively wiping her nose. So much so that she's gone through a LOT of kleenexes today. And while she has got the whole wiping of the nose thing down, she kind of forgets that they go into the trashcan after they are full of snot.
* I have a zit in that spot where your nose attaches to your face. Man those HURT.
* I need to wash my hair when the kids lie down for naps, but I'm thinking that right now, the way I feel, I'm just going to lie down, too.
* I need a table for my office, but I can't seem to find one. I got a kickin' record player and have no place to set it so I can listen to my John Denver and Carpenter's records.
* I just admitted to y'all that I have John Denver and Carpenter's records.
* Cute Baby has just discovered that when he slams the computer armoire's door into my knee repeatedly it makes a cool thumping noise. He thinks it's hilarious. I, not so much. He slams it into my knee, I say "Ow", he giggles, claps his hands and says "Ow" back to me.
* My children have eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner three nights in an row. I should probably cook soon. I wasn't even sick when I started the pb&j thing - just lazy. Now that I'm actually sick, I'm going to have to cook.
* My laundry was all caught up yesterday. I just went back and dug out three loads from the hamper. I think we should all become nudists.
* I finished the latest Harry Potter book yesterday. I cried.
That's it. I'm done whining for now. I need more drugs. I think the children do, too.
I was born a semi-diva. I married a redneck. Through the magic of osmosis or just because of a serious lack of sophistication over the years I have found a balance of the two that make me who I am today. And then I write about it all, much to the chagrin of my mother.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
We....the people
Originally published in The Miami News-Record, July 2020 Everything is different now. I’m not just talking about masks and social distancing...
-
I am 46 years old. I have been out of high school for 28 years. In 1991, fresh out of the hallowed halls of WHS I took one semester of colle...
-
This post is hopefully not going to end in me crying, but I'm sure it will. If I chase a few rabbits and digress a bit, just hang with m...
-
Our pellet stove is out again. Last month it was the igniter that went out. Now it's the auger. Right now, as I type this, I have it ru...
4 comments:
During this sacred week we NE Okies call "FAIR WEEK" I administer a LOT of Benadryl to the whole Coach Clan. It serves 3 purposes, it helps allergies, it makes kids sleepy so we aren't at the fair all night and the antihistamine reduces hunger so we don't spend $100 on dinner. Shall I send you some of my stash???
Billy-Amen, brotha.
Mrs.Coach-Ahh, sacred Fair Week. Shalom, my friend. Peace be unto you.
Thanks for the offer, but I have an extensive stash of my own. We use Benadryl for EVERYTHING and I am never without it. It's great for motion sickness, sunburns and oh yeah, allergies. We're all doping up and heading to the sacred shrine of the fair gods tonight. Whoohoo!!
Sam-Yeah, I'm not too good with the drunken word challenge either. I've lost several that way. But I'm sure it was a great comment. They usually are!
Might I suggest bubble gum for dinner. It's a nice change from PB&J.
We're good on boogers here too. Actually, it's more the dry crusties that you gotta dig for.
Diva,
You mean I am not the only one who still has vinyl? I didn't know you could even find a record player these days. I don't have the Carpenters, but I do have John Denver. I even hava Dolly Parton "Here You Come Again." It is out of print. No CD, either. On Amazon it was $88 USED for the LOW price. WooHoo! I'm rich!
Post a Comment