A rundown of the first party

Well, aside from the fact that 4 couples called and cancelled on us, the party was a smashing success!!

The kids and I worked all day on cleaning up the yard and the house, my cupcakes turned out very pretty and patriotic and Mr. Diva even came home in a good mood! That made things go so much smoother, lemme tell ya. We got a late start because Sis had a run-in with identity fraud and SBC, but that's a long story. We finally ate and then just sat around visiting in the yard. I had 3 beers in me by then and was past the sleepy stage, but damn was I hot! The temperature outside wasn't all that bad, but the wind had died down and it was humid. Add that to one borderline tipsy woman and you've got hot flashes galore!

The kids were enjoying themselves what with the running around the house like a bunch of wild heathen banshees. I had hit the clearance aisle at Wal*Mart and had a whole box of cheap prizes, so I rounded them up for some games. The theory was - give them the limelight for awhile, give them prizes and candy and then maybe they'd leave us alone during the volleyball game. We started with a three-legged race.





Kady was the littlest and didn't have a partner so my friend, Trishia, paired up with her, but when I shouted "GO!" she picked Kady up and ran. When it was over and we'd all caught our breath from laughing, Kady said, "Dat was fun, but now my head hurts." Then we got tickled again.

Then I gave the kids spoons and raw eggs. One should know that that is rarely a good combination. It was messy, sticky and hilarious, but I'm glad we did it. Of course, my husband wanted eggs for breakfast this morning and I had to explain to him that the children used them all last night . . .



After the kids' games I went in to clean up while everyone visited awhile longer outside. By the time we got around to actually playing volleyball it was nearly dark. But that just made it all the funnier. The dew had settled so the grass was wet. Most of us had had several alcoholic beverages. It was hot and humid. We were just glad to be playing a grownup game while the kids kept themselves entertained. All those elements added up to the most hilarious game of volleyball I've ever played.

I've mentioned several times that I am not an athlete. All of my friends and family know this. Yet, Chad and I made one spectacular team - a team of one really tired guy and one pathetically non-helpful Diva. Then Keith and Alyssa came out and Keith decided to join the team with Diva on it. I warned him that the team had an obvious handicap - me. My only purpose was to pretty much stand around and look pretty. He wasn't even convinced of that, I don't think. I was sweatin' like a whore in church.

After several misses - and I think the word "several" doesn't properly describe the number of blantant misses on my part - Chad commented that someone could film the game and use it on a telethon for kids who've never seen a volleyball before and boy, the phone would start ringin'. Everyone time someone would miss (namely ME) someone'd holler "The phones are ringin' now!" or "Ooh there's another $100 donation!"

Mr. Diva had it out for me and would get his hands on the ball and holler "You ready, mama?" I'd declare I was, but funny how the three guys on my team would gather around as if they thought I wouldn't get it or something . . . strange.

One particular shot Mr. Diva served up way high and it was coming straight down at me. It was an easy shot. I held my hands up over my had, palms to the sky, the ball was going to hit my hands and I was going to smack it over the net . . . the other players held their breath in anticipation of a killer shot by the non-athletic Diva . . . when whack the ball smacked me right on top of the head. Everyone was bent over in laughter, I think someone declared they had tinkled a little and no one could talk coherently for the laughing. I'm glad I also provided comic relief in addition to standing there looking pretty.

The kids had played ball boy/ball girl until they were bored with that and had started to annoy us, so they decided to explore the barn. They ended up in our boat, pretending like there were in a made for TV movie or something. We heard loud, boisterous VROOM VROOM's, cries of "OH HELP!! SAAAAAVE US!" and lots of squeals and giggles. For only $5500 you, too, can have a boat for your kids to play on. Any takers? Kept those seven kids occupied for nearly 2 hours. Come on, everyone needs a $5500 playground toy.

We ended the evening with some early fireworks, which made the kids so utterly happy I thought they were going to wet themselves. I've got to remember to save some back - they worked so well at making my kids deliriously ecstatic!



The last guests left a hair before midnight and we collapsed into bed at 12:15 this morning. Tired, smokey, sweaty and strangely happy.