Summer vacation a la Diva

The way I've got it figured. . . I'm going to wear my children out in the first week that school's out. And then I can have the rest of the summer off.

Yesterday was an otherwise unscheduled trip to the dentist. Again. Her headgear broke. Again. The band completely just spontaneously fell off her tooth while she was sleeping. I still have no idea how that happens. But it's happened more than once, so go figure. We drove an hour and a half to his office in Tulsa, sat in the waiting room for 5 minutes, the assistant glued the band back on which took 5 minutes and we were back on the road. All that driving, energy and gas for roughly 10 minutes in the office. 3 hours of driving! Ach. If I didn't love this dentist so much, I'd switch to someone closer. But as it is...I'm staying. Even if it did cost me $20 in gas for that trip yesterday.

But here's a funny story. Well, not funny "haha", but funny "that's akin to highway robbery!" When I took all 3 kids to the dentist last week for their regular 6 month exam, cleaning and fluoride treatment the hygienist pulled one of Ab's baby teeth. I think I even mentioned this here in the blog. Keep in mind this was a baby tooth that was literally dangling in her mouth by only a piece of gum, the hygienist didn't use any tools or equipment to pull it or anything. Well, they handed me a receipt for my monthly orthodontic payment when we left, I jammed it down into my purse and when we got home I threw it on the bar - aka: the black hole of the universe. Yesterday, I ventured forth into cleaning the black hole bar and ran across the receipt. I was going to throw it away, but decided to look at it instead. It itemized the cleaning and fluoride treatment for all three kids and listed a charge for each. It also listed Ab's regular orthodontic checkup, which had a $zero charge listed. Then there was an extra listing for Abby. I read the description and discovered that it was for the "extraction" of that baby tooth! Okay, so maybe they have to actually list every procedure they do...then I saw the charge. $52.71 to pull a baby tooth with no anesthetic, no tools, no NOTHING. $53 for something that my husband normally does while he sits in his recliner with one eye on The Outdoor Channel. When I told him about it, in his dry, quiet drawl he said, "Wull, the way I got it figgered then...your sister owes me about $200 for pulling her kids' teeth. Send her a statement." Geez. Landmark business, that baby tooth pulling. Fortunately our insurance covers it because they wrote it off as an "extraction", but still. That's ridiculous.

Today I woke up with a sinus headache so I laid on the couch till 10 while the kids watched Nick Jr. Sue me, okay? It really hurt! So when I finally managed to rise from my diva-esque beige floral throne, I called my sister to see if she wanted to take the kids to the park for a picnic. I knew she didn't have her babysitting kids and thought she might enjoy some sunshine, considering she's a freak for that natural sunlight which I find highly overrated. Sure enough, she was game. We were going to meet at 11:30. I called Mom, offered to fix her lunch if she wanted to come to the park as well. Yep, she's a fan of sunlight as well. Strange people I'm related to. I didn't even shower because the air right now is certifiably WEARABLE and showering does no good because you never dry and you're usually hotter when you get out, thus the sweat never goes away. This is Oklahoma's version of spring. It's great. Just great. So I threw on some shorts, something I said I wasn't doing this year due to the fact that I've gained 20 pounds this winter and have NO TAN whatsoever and I don't like to frighten people when I walk by. But it's hot, so I wore shorts. I now have a nubbin for a ponytail, but that's okay - if I'm going to frighten people in my shorts, I might as well complete the package with a weird short ponytail.

The park was great. Hot, but great. The kids played in the ginormous rocket slide, slid about 60 bazillion times down the twisty slide and swung until their little legs could take no more. I even got on a swing! So did Sis. I'm finding that Sis and I are pretty competitive with each other lately and before too long we were seeing who could get higher. I was SO winning! I would go back and my eyes were level with the dang bar! That's pretty high. The kids were cheering me on and I was SO beating my little sister! Then I noticed that every upswing made my stomach do a little flip flop. Funny at first. Then not so much funny as nauseating. I was having fun, but at the same time feeling like I was going to hurl. I made this announcement and Sis said, "Well, you realize if you stop, I win by default." Geez. It was just a swing. So I quit pumping my legs and attempted to drag my feet in order to stop quicker because I was downright blechy by that point. But there was a problem - my feet wouldn't touch the ground! I am too short legged to stop my own self in a swing! Finally it slowed enough that I felt like I could jump, even if I was risking breaking a hip. So I jumped. Ahhh, sweet, solid ground. Sis gloated. Geez, it was only a swing!

Finally around 2, we took the six sweaty, pink-armed, dirty children and left the park. Not so much that we were tired, but that my niece took some candy from another kid playing in the park and that fuh-reaked Sis out. I took my four wards to Wal*Mart, checked out the pools, conversed with Paul about which one was going to find a home in our yard, then purchased the agreed-upon pool. We graduated up a size this year, too. Last year we didn't even get a big pool because the kids had just had their tubes put in and the doc said no swimming. It was a long summer, too. Year before last we got the 8-foot wide, 2-foot deep job. This year, yep - we splurged and got the 12-foot wide, 3-foot deep number! Yep, we are right uptown, we are. It's going to hit Kady and Chandler right about armpit height, so I imagine we'll end up buying one of those $6 little plastic pools for them to splash in, seeing as how neither of them are big on getting their faces wet. My two eldest though...oh gosh, they were born to swim. Paul wanted to just get a wader again this year, but Ab's as tall as my shoulders and a 5 inch deep wading pool just isn't much fun when you're that tall! I'm hoping that in a year or two we can get a real, like permanent pool. Shelling out $100 every other year for the pop-up kind is ridiculous.

We were supposed to go to Paul's nephew's high school graduation tonight, but again I mention the lack of showering on my part up to this point. Plus the fact that I don't feel like wrestling three very hot, very bored children during a graduation ceremony. I'll stick some money in a card for him and he'll be just as happy. I told my sister in law that if it was really hot we would not be there. Bleh. I love the kid and all, but really.

Dang, it's hot. Typical Oklahoma weather. There is no transition from winter to summer. One day it's literally freezing and the next the humidity's high and the temp's wavering precariously close to 90. Yeah. Good times.

It's supposed to be 91 tomorrow. Tractor pulls and monster trucks are tomorrow night. As much as I love the tractor pulls, I'm wondering if we're utterly insane. I'm thinking we shell out the extra $5 a piece for the pit passes and take our lawn chairs. It's cooler down there out of the stands. Regardless, we're going. I already paid $45 for our tickets. They had The Terminator monster truck sitting out front at O'Reilly this afternoon. I think four kids nearly peed their pants when we drove by.

Saw Cledus T. Judd last night. Pretty okay concert. Glad I didn't pay anything for the tickets. He was funny, but I'm not a hardcore fan or anything. When we left the casino a little before 11, after playing awhile, he was at a blackjack table, surrounded by a throng of redneck fans and a couple of BIA police officers. Fame and celebrity gambled at the Buffalo last night, whoo hoo. Don't know what the people are going to do when RASCAL FREAKIN' FLATTS COMES TO TOWN IN AUGUST!!!!! I know I, for one, will have to wear a pantyliner for that event. The tinkling will be more prevalent than it was at the Trace Adkins concert. Seriously. I am SO not kidding.